To the world you are one person, but to one person you are the world

Mantras for Motherhood

This post is part of my ‘Mantras for Motherhood’ series. You can find the rest of the posts so far and a free printable version of my mantra cards by clicking HERE.

 

One of the things I’ve learnt since becoming a mum is that the hardest bit about the whole thing is the ongoing mental battle that I have with myself daily. Honestly, I thought it would be the sleep deprivation, or giving up my social life, or the constant cleaning and washing that needs to be done. But it’s none of that, that’s all circumstantial and temporary. The hardest bit is staying positive and motivated in the face of all those things and more, keeping your sense of self, maintaining your perspective and dealing with the constant nagging doubt in the back of your mind that you are not good enough. That’s the hardest bit of motherhood for me.

When I was pregnant with Mabel and moaning about having a bad back and having to be on my feet all day at work…. my boss at the time, very much a ‘tough love’ sort of woman, said to me ‘Pregnancy is mind over matter. You can do this, but you need to change your mindset.’ She was totally right, and not just about pregnancy but about motherhood in general. I have found that for me, enjoying motherhood has all been about ‘mind over matter’. So at times when I haven’t been enjoying it so much, when everything has seemed so incredibly hard and relentless and it’s got so bad that I’ve completely lost my sense of humour about the whole thing and I just want a break…. I’ve tried to remember that it’s a lot easier to change my mindset than to change the whole situation that’s causing me stress.

When Ernie was younger, about 2-3 months old, probably around the time I started this blog… I was struggling. I was adapting to having three children and going back to having a small baby again. I think it always takes a while when you go through a big change for everything to get back in sync again and more often than not you have to adjust your expectations until they are in line with reality. In my situation, my expectation that I might be able to leave the house every once in a while without needing treatment for post traumatic stress disorder afterwards, was quite far away from the reality of life with three children under four.

One of the things that helped me in those difficult early days, was looking through Instagram and Pinterest to find inspirational quotes, motivational words of wisdom, anything that struck a chord and helped me to put what I was feeling into perspective. A little mantra that I could repeat to myself throughout the day. Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been sharing one of those quotes and how it helps me in a live broadcast on my Facebook page every Monday morning. I’m going to carry on doing my live videos and I’d love for you to join me (I can’t guarantee what time it will be but if you subscribe to updates on my facebook page it should pop up when I’m live), and I’m also going to be writing about my ‘motherhood mantras’ in a blog post once a week. If you have any quotes or phrases that you like that help you I would love to hear them so please leave a comment or send me a message.

This week the quote I have chosen is ‘To the world you are one person, but to one person you are the world’. It’s a quote that we’ve all probably heard before and it almost sounds a bit too sickly sweet, like something you would get on a greetings card. But when I think about this quote, I think about my little people and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

 

You can do anything,But not everything (2)

 

I love being at home with my children, but it can feel isolating and restricting at times. Being a mum is a job that you work hard at all day, but nobody else really cares. You’re just a Mum doing your best, the same as every other Mum out there, no reason for anyone to take any notice of you. I’m used to working in a team before I had children, being supported and motivated by a manager…. no one tells you ‘well done’ at the end of a hard day with the kids, no one sees it. People start talking to your children instead of you and strangers you’ve never met call you ‘Mum’. It’s easy to start to feel a bit insignificant.

But this quote helps to balance all that out for me. Because although I’ve probably never been more invisible to the outside world… to three little people I have never been more important. I am their world. I am their sun and moon, their sunrise and sunset, their breakfast lunch and dinner. I am their person, I am everything they need. When they grow up, I will either be the person they thank first in their award acceptance speech, or the biggest topic of conversation in their therapy sessions (no pressure!). I am not insignificant, to three people I am the world.

 

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12 Comments

  1. August 11, 2016 / 6:49 am

    this is such a beautiful post and clearly you are a beautiful person. It is so true, I am the world to my 3 little ones too, even as their world expans as they go to school and make friends etc. I still remain (right now) that person they need more than anything to be there for them. I have just liked your Facebook page to! #sharingthebloglove
    Mackenzie Glanville recently posted…Mess is fun . . . . right?My Profile

  2. August 11, 2016 / 3:16 pm

    Aw this is such a lovely post Louise. I know what you mean about feeling like you aren’t good enough, being a mum is so tough x #sharingthebloglove
    Emma Plus Three recently posted…Let’s Talk About…Birth TraumaMy Profile

  3. August 11, 2016 / 7:04 pm

    Ever since I’ve become a mum I’ve loved this quote. I love seeing that look of love in my son’s eyes, being the one that he comes to when he’s hurt, being the one that gets him up in the morning and tucks him into bed at night. It’s so true that the adjustment from the working world to being a mum is so hard because of that lack of any kind of positive reinforcement, so I love quotes like this that just remind you of what an amazing job we’re all doing. Because we are! Thanks so much for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove
    Katy – Hot Pink Wellingtons recently posted…#SharingtheBlogLove #7My Profile

  4. August 12, 2016 / 6:46 am

    Such a beautiful post, and so important to remember that quote. #Sharingthebloglove xx

  5. August 12, 2016 / 7:01 pm

    I love that photo of you and Ernie, he’s so smiley! I often say to Dave that Ro wants me more than anything. It’s totally true though at such a young age we are all they need. It’s easy to let the bad deep in but ultimately it’s all wonderful!! #sharethebloglove
    Karen: TwoTinyHands recently posted…52 Things to do OutdoorsMy Profile

  6. August 14, 2016 / 3:29 pm

    This quote all made sense when I became a mummy. The fact that these little people need me in every aspect of their life is wonderful, (and also overwhelming!) The look they give me, the fact that they have generally missed me for the 10 minutes I have been out of the house to get some milk. I am their world and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Even though its the hardest thing I have ever done! Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove Laura x
    Laura – dear bear and beany recently posted…A Fourth Birthday…The Ordinary MomentsMy Profile

  7. August 18, 2016 / 2:51 pm

    I love this post, but I must admit this quote both inspires and terrifies me! I want so badly not to screw up, as we all do I’m sure.

    I love the weekly quote idea, I have a few I would love to share, would you prefer I email them or leave them in a comment here or elsewhere?
    Thanks!
    Claire
    #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Louise
      August 24, 2016 / 8:15 am

      Yes, send me an email lovely! x

  8. August 18, 2016 / 8:09 pm

    The quote is so true. It’s not one I’ve heard, but it makes a lot of sense. TBH, I’m not one for quotes, but then I rarely feel overwhelmed by being a mum, but that’s because I’m working so get the boost and validation for me as a person elsewhere. But everyone finds their place in their own way I know I’d go spare i I was at home all the time.

  9. August 18, 2016 / 8:25 pm

    This is so beautiful Louise. I think you are amazing for having three under four and writing such creating such a wonderful blog too. Your inspirational quotes idea sounds fab so I will make sure I pop over for these on a Monday. The internal emotional strruggle is definitely the toughest. Thank you for sharing x #Sharingthebloglove
    Rebecca recently posted…When Will I Learn to Say ‘No!’?My Profile

  10. August 19, 2016 / 1:10 pm

    What a beautiful post. It’s so easy to feel unappreciated and insignificant when you are “just” Mum but such a good reminder that to your children you are the most important thing in the world. Definitely something I need to remind myself of more often. #sharingthebloglove
    Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love) recently posted…LEJOG Day 4 – We did it!My Profile

  11. August 24, 2016 / 7:27 am

    A really wonderful post. I too struggle more with the emotional and doubting side of motherhood than anything else. Thank you for sharing xx #sharingthebloglove
    Laura recently posted…A New Era I Never Thought I’d SeeMy Profile

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